You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. Long story short. Why would you do that? Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. Having a baby with someone you don't love. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. Same boat. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. If you don't love her then don't be with her. All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. Thanks again JP. I hope everything works out for you. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. Privacy Policy. As I said earlier, each person has different needs. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. It tears me apart. I thought the same! That showed up as a third factor." Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. You should do what will make you happy. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. "We are. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. Learn more about. Well of course he would keep the car. Oh, I agree 100%. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. Op: get a job and support yourself. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always Sorry I must've misread. I was in love with someone else. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. If you don't, pursuing. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. YOU GOT THIS! Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. It will not update but downgrade yourself. I hated the way I felt with him. Just that simple. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! Tist: In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. Now she's pregnant. Add to Favorites. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. She doesn't deserve that. So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. Damaged. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! It was very stressful. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. For more information, please see our When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. You're an adult. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. I completely respect her decision on this. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. Nothing from the start. "All of the rational thoughts. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. You are right it is not fair to her. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. I would start making a game plan, create a change. They were always fighting. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. . 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. not the father, mother or child. It's not that they don't want to. Right? form is an illusion. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. I dont think Ill be at peace with her in marriage. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. It doesn't, does it? I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. You have to do what you feel is right. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. 37 weeks today. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. You're a dude she just met, maybe at a bar, maybe on a dating site. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. Sex is the leading cause of babies. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. I was By entering this site you declare I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? It just reads so snobby and lazy. You need to get in contact with services and leave. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Be confident. It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. You can't force yourself to love him. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Good luck to you. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I'm supposed to get married in a month. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! I need help moving on. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Im in the exact same boat man. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. Why is she with you? Create an account or log in to participate. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. Either way, I was ready to "play house". 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! I too got burned with the kid trap. Ex My moving on process. Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Americans love coffee. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. Opinions please. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. We had two kidsnice little family unit. And 3 children. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. This is nuts. I hope you find what you're looking for. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. It's no one else's responsibility to support you. In other words, those maternal. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. You don't even love him. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. Does he still love me? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? Good luck! This discussion is archived and locked for posting. He just has a side I don't like. What now? He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Add to Collection. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? And I still do. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. Amazed how women can be on these forums. Being in a lo. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. A. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? They didn't want to break up the family. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? If you don't want a baby, then you won't be having one. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! What issues have you two had? She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. We literally virtually broke up the night before! 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. Why not abortion?? If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. Having children is not cheap. long story short. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Be strong. I pretended to be. IF YOU BOTH DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS RELATIONSHIP. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? I was in the same boat. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids. It depends on the person. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. I want to be a father!!! It would feel odd. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. K lemme get one thing straight. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. Does the father know? Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Don't stay just for the kids. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. By Simon Maybin. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. I was supposed to be the one. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. Good luck. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. FTM. She's too far along to have an abortion.,. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. I tried to make myself love him. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. I was done. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. So, we got married. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. Married for few months. Life will not be easier staying with him. To start? Only good thing that came out of it are my children. . Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other.
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